Good Communication

It is important to maintain good communication in all facets of life be it at home, school, work and amongst people you encounter everyday. If you want to get your needs met you have to clearly express in a palatable way what it is you are striving to do in your life. Communication involves listening, observing, clarifying, paraphrasing, discussing, analyzing and evaluating. Sometimes the direct approach is effective where you ask specifically what you want in a cordial and pleasant way. Then there is the indirect approach where you set a foundation of what your situation is, explain the circumstances that effects your position, and discuss the actions you need to take in order to rectify your current status.

There is verbal communication when you express your needs and concerns to your parents, children, significant other, friend, teacher, colleague or boss. Then there is nonverbal communication when your actions dictate how you are feeling through your body language and reactions to circumstances. By explaining things in a calm tone of voice, maintaining good eye contact, and having a pleasant disposition helps to engage the one you are sending this message to. When a person gets upset, starts to yell, cry and/or gets assaultive verbally/physically the reciever of the the information shuts down and the message is lost. The most obvious thing that stands out to someone when you are acting irrationally is that a situation is making you upset and that they just want you to calm down. Sometimes people can say things to trigger more hysteria, rather than to try and appease you about the pending circumstance at hand.

It is important to communicate your feelings, issues and concerns to those that are close to you so that you can determine if you are in fact thinking accurately or maybe you are blowing things out of proportion. A peer, mentor, parent, or mental health professional can help you to become more grounded about your issues at hand so that you can effectively pursue how to make action happen. So discuss your issues at hand and encourage those closest to you to provide feedback about how you are thinking about a situation.

Children seem to tell things like it is and are unfamiliar with how to sugar coat a position. They tend to be very raw in their feelings, when they are able to express them, so that they can get their needs met. I have heard kids say "that person is fat, why does she have a mustache, or that person is ugly". As we grow older, some of us become more aware that the things we say can hurt others and that we have to express feelings and concerns in a more diplomatic fashion. For instance when you are concerned about someones weight you may say "you know I am concerned about your eating habits and your physical condition have you been exercising lately"? Or if you want to talk about your own issues and someone made you upset you may say "you know it hurt my feelings and made me upset you did so and so". This way you are expressing things instead of letting them fester and turn into a bigger problem later on. I think some people obsess about issues rather than just doing identification, clarification, and problem solving into how to resolve a situation.

Everyone needs to take time out in their household (personal lives) and at work/school/community (professional lives) to communicate feelings and share concerns with one and other. We are all role models to our children, family, friends and colleagues when we communicate. By promoting open communication, it allows people to feel comfortable to share what is going on inside so that they can be more productive in everyday life. If we all take the time to communicate with each other on a daily basis our lives would be more harmonious.

What do you think is the most effective ways to communicate your issues? Is it helpful to talk about it through or writing it out? Where have you encountered issues with communicating? How have you overcome obstacles in your communication skills?